Welcome back for another week. I hope everyone is doing well and staying safe. Today I just want to share a short lesson and realization that I had about myself. Although it may seem small, I noticed that I have a terrible habit of saying, “It’s fine,” to everything. It doesn’t matter so much for the little minor inconveniences, but for more significant issues, I realize how problematic it can be. Just think about it, how many times a day you say, “It’s fine,” “That’s okay, “It’s no big deal,” etc. Now think about how many times you sincerely meant that. We’ve become accustomed to being non-confrontational to the point that we avoid any interactions that create conflict. We may feel slighted in our workspaces, within our friendships, with our significant other, and with our family; however, we never say anything. We just brush it off; meanwhile, we are boiling on the inside, or we want to rant about it to everyone but the person involved. If we don’t take the time to have the necessary conversations about what bothers us, then we are left with accepting things for what they are, even if that option may not feel right to us internally.
Whether we realize it or not, every time we say, “it’s fine” at the most significant times, we are giving away our power, and allowing the other person to control our narrative. In that instance, we are telling them that what we have to say, and how we feel does not matter. Denying yourself of that moment to express how you feel only builds resentment on your end towards the other person, and ultimately you are teaching them how to treat you. We have to set healthy boundaries with people and let them know what we are and are not willing to tolerate. If they can’t respect that, then we have to decide what steps we need to take, whether that means choosing to deal with that person from a distance or entirely removing them from our lives.
With all of this being said, we have to learn that communication is vital, and healthy conflict is necessary. You can’t expect someone to know how you feel if you don’t tell that person, and you can’t resolve a dispute without having a healthy dialogue. Otherwise, you are going to be left to suffer in silence. Do not give away your power just to avoid a confrontation. I know it seems easier to just let things go, but sometimes a lot of issues can be resolved by a simple conversation. If that person can not even attempt to understand you or change, just know that someone who respects you would hear you out and be inclined to change because they value having you in their life. If they aren’t willing to hear you out, then that should tell you of what importance you are in their life. Because one thing I do know is that when you are valued in someone’s life, they will never do anything repeatedly to put themselves in the position to risk losing you. So the next time you say, “It’s fine,” when you know it’s not really fine, take the time to time to reconsider it because that simple phrase takes away more power than you know.
As always, thanks for reading, and before you go, let me know in the comments if you are guilty of overusing this phrase. Also, start now I want to highlight the small businesses in my life. So, this week I am highlighting Ziriyah Boutique owned by my aunt Pamela Grant (www.ziriyah-boutique.myshopify.com). If you are looking for Elegant and trendy clothing at affordable prices, this is the place to shop. Once again, thanks for reading, and I will be talking to you guys soon. Take care!